dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
