hell yes lets make some ravioli
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
