ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
