Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
