so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
pray to the hookup gods
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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