I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
