ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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