Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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