You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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