I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
