He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize