wat bout pragnant strippers??
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
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My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
try to milk me bitch
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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