hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
