I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize