and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
