So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
