last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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