Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
