Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize