i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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