xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
