Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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