And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
