So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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