I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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