I must be too annoying 4 u.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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