youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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