You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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