if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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