Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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