You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
