I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
