just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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