I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
