a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
