he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
