I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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