Do you still have your period?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
