I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
