i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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