saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
