i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
