We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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