just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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