I'm lost and stupid without you.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
