Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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