i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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