If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
