I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
