He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
