All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
