You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I supernannyed him into submission
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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