She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
