Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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