Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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