i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize