please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
