So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
