Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
