After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
