Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
