I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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